K
ohhh you got JOKES???
plumbous blimp
+1y
yeah, originally emo bought girls pants so they could get that fit, then all the companies saw a market for stupid skinny pants and made them.
Here is the ultimate joke:
What's brown and sticky?
A STICK!
Here is the ultimate joke:
What's brown and sticky?
A STICK!
shilaeli huggr (burdaddy)
+1y
wuts a west virginia girl say after sex?
git off me daddy ur crushin my marlboros!
heard bout them new italian tires?
when deigo flat diego wop wop wop
why did hitler commit suicide?
he got his gas bill
girl comes home to west virginia and sez, 'daddy i'm pregnant.'
'WELL WHO IN TARNASHIN KNOCKED UP MY LIL GIRL?'
'some guy from ahia (ohio for y'all). named clarence'
so daddy and the 3 brothers jump in the old truck and head up the highway. they're drivin along when daddy whips the truck around and heads back home.
'daddy why we turnin around?'
'WE GONNA NEED MORE GUYS! DIDN'T Y'ALLS SEE THAT SIGN? SED CLARENCE IS 13'7'!!!'
3 men are sittin in a bar, a brit, a scot, and an irishman.
a fly lands in the brits beer. he pushes it away and orders a new beer
a fly lands in the scots beer. he picks it out and drinks the beer.
a fly lands in the irishmans beer. he picks him out and says 'SPIT IT OUT YA WEE BASTARD!'
git off me daddy ur crushin my marlboros!
heard bout them new italian tires?
when deigo flat diego wop wop wop
why did hitler commit suicide?
he got his gas bill
girl comes home to west virginia and sez, 'daddy i'm pregnant.'
'WELL WHO IN TARNASHIN KNOCKED UP MY LIL GIRL?'
'some guy from ahia (ohio for y'all). named clarence'
so daddy and the 3 brothers jump in the old truck and head up the highway. they're drivin along when daddy whips the truck around and heads back home.
'daddy why we turnin around?'
'WE GONNA NEED MORE GUYS! DIDN'T Y'ALLS SEE THAT SIGN? SED CLARENCE IS 13'7'!!!'
3 men are sittin in a bar, a brit, a scot, and an irishman.
a fly lands in the brits beer. he pushes it away and orders a new beer
a fly lands in the scots beer. he picks it out and drinks the beer.
a fly lands in the irishmans beer. he picks him out and says 'SPIT IT OUT YA WEE BASTARD!'
zig
+1y
Whats the differance between a ritz and a lesbian?
Ones a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker!
Whats the differance between cottage cheese and cumm?
Cottage cheese doesn't hit the back of your thoat at 120 mph!
Ones a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker!
Whats the differance between cottage cheese and cumm?
Cottage cheese doesn't hit the back of your thoat at 120 mph!
speedster93b
+1y
A man standing admiring himself in the mirror turns to his wife and says
"look honey, 200 pounds of DYNAMITE!!""
Wife says "too bad there's only a 3 inch fuse"
"look honey, 200 pounds of DYNAMITE!!""
Wife says "too bad there's only a 3 inch fuse"
speedster93b
+1y
did you hear about the woman found dead in a bathtub full of milk with a spoon in her snatch and a banana in her ass?
they think its a cereal killer.
they think its a cereal killer.
speedster93b
+1y
A husband and wife had been arguing all day in the car. They drive past a herd of wild jackasses. Wife says "relatives of yours?"
Husband replies "YEP!! In-Laws!"
Husband replies "YEP!! In-Laws!"
speedster93b
+1y
aw and one of my favorites:::
A blonde watching the news hears that two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident. She starts to try and says "oh my god, how many is a brazilian?"
A blonde watching the news hears that two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident. She starts to try and says "oh my god, how many is a brazilian?"
zig
+1y
why do leprechauns laugh when they run?
cuz the grass tickles their nuts
cuz the grass tickles their nuts
speedster93b
+1y
oh zig u beat me to it. i was going to post that one for a little ST paddy's day joke. lol i love that one!!!
speedster93b
+1y
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are almost in heaven waiting to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "sarah, have you ever had any contact with a male naughty organ?"'
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well i once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
He says "okay dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates."
He ask the next girl the same question she says "well i once fondled and stroked one"
st peter replies "okay dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gates."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One pushes her way to the front of the line. When she gets there he asks, "Nicole, what seams to be the rush?"
She exclaims "if i'm going to have to gargle that holy water i want to do it before natalie sticks her ass in it!!"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well i once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
He says "okay dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates."
He ask the next girl the same question she says "well i once fondled and stroked one"
st peter replies "okay dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gates."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One pushes her way to the front of the line. When she gets there he asks, "Nicole, what seams to be the rush?"
She exclaims "if i'm going to have to gargle that holy water i want to do it before natalie sticks her ass in it!!"