Relationship problems need advice

17 and 19 year olds are generally lacking skill wise to be parents.Raising kids is a tough,FULL-TIME job.If ur going off to school and ur g/f has already said she isnt coming,sounds like ur already screwed.If u think she is a good mom (?),then as part of the deal work out a custody arrangement with a counselor,both of u sign it,and as part of the deal insist the g/f get some parenting classes and anger management help. Maybe by the time u r out of school,both of u will be more mature and be able to work out a stable relationship that benefits both of u and especially the little girl.Tough deal,dude ,and good luck.BJ

i had an ex like that...thats why she is my ex we had a daughter and i havent seen or heard from her in 6 years dont even know where they live anymore..............ditch the chick man your young be concerned with your schooling and make sure you get visitation set man....>GOOD luck

One thing that's been brought up in this thread is the "maturity" issue. I disagree highly, although I'm not mad because hocbj23 hasn't met me or anything. I have no maturity problems whatsoever. I'm also not lacking as a parent, everyone always tells me how good of a father I am. I always put my daughter before me.

I've been getting the same answers from her brother and his girlfriend and they're just repeating that I need to get full custody once I'm 18. My girlfriends bro's girlfriend's (haha) dad is a lawyer and I know he'd help me out. I just hate that it has to come to this, really. I'd MUCH rather her be supportive of me and not controlling of me at all. I love her so much but I can't be with her if she's gonna do this to me my whole life.

I really appreciate everything guys.

I'm really just concerned about them big time. That's the reason I have done anything yet. I care about them so much. They have somewhere to go.

Am I wrong for feeling sorry for my girlfriend? I mean, her parents are such fucking deadbeats that they can't even afford to get her a used car. They won't help do anything either. We live with my dad (because 7 bucks an hour wont get us a place) and he's been more of a parent to her in the past year than her parents have. My dad is even getting fed up with her.

I wish I could do something to smack some sense into her but I don't think that's gonna work.

Dude,read the post.No rap on u personally,I just said 17-19 year olds GENERALLY lack the maturity for parenthood.U may be the exception that proves the rule.I got married at age 21,same year I finished college,spent 8 years with the 82nd Airborne in leadership roles,got out ,started a family,and didnt know sh-- from Shinola about raising kids.Maybe im a slow learner but I ended up with 4 and they all turned out ok and after 47 years im still married to the same lovely woman.But it has been WORK.So be good to ur self,take care of ur daughter and try to help the g/f if u can.Too much sh-- in the world already without adding to it. BJ

Hey bro I just got a second to read through the post...
"My girlfriends bro's girlfriend's (haha) dad is a lawyer and I know he'd help me out."

Not a good Idea. In the end if it went to court could get thrown out and delayed because of conflict of interest. We had to have a judge step down and I had one attorny quit because of conflict of interest with my dad. He is a local police officer and there was a nasty trial going on...anyways I guess what I am trying to say is do some research on the cost and performance of the attornys in your area. Just holla at me later if you would like. Anytime after 5:30pm Central time would be fine.
Jeff

I would leave her and get the child. Im 29 been married for 8 years and have 3 kids. I have an awesome wife and kids, my buddy not so good, this is why I say .....Trust me on this and get out before its to late. Good luck with whatever u decide.

Good luck man, Im 21 and You are very mature for your age congrats on growing and stepping up to the plate with the child man, I am proud of you without even knowing you!, You know whats right to do, Just I cant stress it enough to not be afraid to do it, Its easier than you think when you do it, I had to get rid of my girl and I was fathering her child, It was the hardest thing I ever did but I couldnt handle her or her partying anymore, I miss the lil one more than anything she a bitch and wont lemme see her anymore, Im sorry this is happening to you but nobody is perfect man, good luick

Appreciate all the replies guys.

hocbj23 - I didn't mean to be an ass but I just wasn't in a great mood and got all defensive.

I'm just having a very hard time with her. I have a heart to heart talk with her every couple of days where I tell her the same thing over and over and she apologizes, blah blah, and then it starts all over again.

Oh yeah, she's cheated on me (few months ago). Even though she "just" kissed another guy that she used to date. She was at a bar that she's been to before and I pleaded with her not to go, but she lied and did anyways. She's sent a picture of her tits to one of her brothers friends... that much unloyalty right there is enough for me, the only reason I haven't kicked her ass out thus far is because I'm dearly worried about my relationship with my daughter.

I have been nothing but loyal to her and I get treated like shit.

sorry to here about your trouble. i have a female friend that is going throught almost the same thing as you are. he has always been violent with her and she kept trying to make it work but his violence and attitude problems just kept getting worse over time. they are split up now and in a custody battle over their kid. she is real close to winning full custody because she kept records of every time he got violent and stated who was there if there were witnesses. so if she still continues to be violent with you i would definitely keep records because if it does come down to a custody battle, the courts always favor the mother. it will help you out a lot especially if you are worried about your kid growing up in that kind of environment.

I have started a log about all of the times she's been out all night and gotten violent etc. I hope it will help if it comes down to court.

I'm sick of this crap, I'm not happy at all.

How is someone supposed to enjoy themselves in a relationship when they aren't allowed to do anything fun?