a funny read

i have been stumped the past couple days on exactly how he got elected into office. i found this and it seems to pretty much sums up all the reasons people voted.

I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P. Diddy .

The actors and singers are my moral compass and know what is best for our economy and national security.

"Fo rizzle dizzle my nizzle"

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.

I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas drilled in another country and boost their economy than allow drilling for oil in our country boosting our capitalist scum American economy.

I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as
long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive . Its not genocide if it happens one at a time in a doctors office, duh.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be
allowed to make profits.

Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politician s and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns are the cause of crimes and killings, not the person pulling the trigger.

I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.

I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas is obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitistliberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit wealthy radical fringe elements and special interests that could never get their agend a past voters.

I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally.

We can' t blame them for that, can we?

I'm voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn't teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex and how Adam and Steve can and should get married.

I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.

I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Jesse Jackson, and Jeremiah Wright will end racism once and for all.

I'm voting Democrat because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers. Atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.

I'm voting Democrat because I like eminent domain and big business and government kicking me out of my home and taking my land.

I'm voting Democrat because every one knows that raising taxes at the top won't hurt people at the bottom. Theres no way i could get laid off if my employer gets slammed with crippling taxes.

I'm voting Democrat because skin color and good oratory skills are more important than judgment and experience.

Im voting Democrat because meeting the radical demands of leftist environmental groups is more important than my country's energy independence.

I'm voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and theres no place for Capitalistic Super powers in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horse power of a riding lawnmower.

I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don't know WHAT the change will actually Be, or HOW it will happen, and I am pretty sure that I won't WANT to actually change anything I do, but still... I believe in change.

I'm voting Democrat because the government knows how to raise children better than parents do.

I'm voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for my services so I don't have to.

Why should I pursue the American Dream when Obama can hand me a piece of someone else's?

I'm voting Democrat because I don't give to charity or do volunteer work and then I complain about how selfish every one else is. I'd rather the government take my money and they can decide how they will "charitably distribute" it.

I'm voting Democrat because I've seen welfare help so many poor people become self-sufficient and upwardly mobile.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not driven enough to realize my dreams without the government holding my hand the entire way.

I'm voting Democrat because I want America to be Europe's retarded little brother again.

I'm voting Democrat because I think we all should be equal... equally unhappy and unsuccessful.

I'm voting Democrat because life just isn't fair and I deserve what other people have without working for it.

I'm voting Democrat because I like hearing the word "Change" 50 million times in presidential debate, seeing the word on celebrities' t-shirts and bags, on signs outside of million dollar houses. I dig repetitive drive l for the masses.

I'm voting Democrat because Barack Obama is better than you, AND SMARTER and he knows it!

I'm voting Democrat because I like how they can cause financial crises' like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's subprime lending fiasco and have the temerity to blame them on Republicans.

I'm voting Democrat because Obama was endorsed by Hamas and terrorists endorsements are a must to achiee world peace.

I'm voting Democrat because lazy pot-smoking drop-outs should be entitled to the money I wake up every morning and work my ass off to make!

I'm voting Democrat because fire can't melt steel.

I'm voting democrat because it's the COOL thing to do. I'm hip and in the majority.

I'm voting Democrat because I listen to and believe all the celebrities/actors who so passionately want Obama to win because I can't think for myself at all. The same celebrities who WE make rich because we GO SEE their movies and watch their T.V. shows!! but. . . these multi-million dollar celebs are so disheartened by AMERICAN ways and the Evil Capitalistic economy we have that the world will come to and end if another Republican comes into office.

I'm voting Democrat because I won't be subjected to any criteria for meeting terrorists and having a kool-aid with any of them.

I'm voting Democrat because of the War on Terror. We have not been attacked once since Sept. 11, 2001, and That was caused by Bill Clinton's fantastic foreign policy, but I still don't feel safe.

I'm voting Democrat because i think that if America puts away our nukes , Russia and Iran will but theirs away too, right?

I'm voting Democrat because communist economics always work. Look how well off the Soviet Union is right now. That wall in Berlin has never looked better.

I'm voting Democrat because I agree with Joe Biden : It really is patriotic to pay more taxes. Although I'd rather pay a "direct tax." Instead giving it to the government for redistribution, I will give my money to derelicts who loiter outside of liquor stores and methadone clinics. That's where it ends up anyway.

I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for Obama's socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed.

YES WE CAN ... screw up this country like never before.

lol all i can say is WOW i just cant beleive u would take the time to sit here and right all of this and be sarcastic lol

i didnt write it. i found it somewhere else and had a good laugh from it even with such a grim time right now.

"I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horse power of a riding lawnmower."


Don't we drive Mazda's now?

That is good stuff though. I love how that was the most rascist election I've ever seen. Never in any other election had they ever had to compare which person got more "white working class vote."

*not on the ugly part just the horse power.

haha, i didnt think about that horsepower part. there was a couple on there that were a little over the top or didnt apply but i wasnt gonna pick and choose which ones to cut out. youre right about the election being really flawed. it was too based on emotion and not substance.

it's kind of sad how funny and true that all really is.