K
let you all know
notlowenoughf350
+1y
hope everyone has a good one.....
watahyahknow
+1y
yeah a merry christmas and best wishes for everyone
ec_dually
+1y
merry christmas guys hope you and your familys have a good one and a happy new year
okcderek
+1y
Merry Krimas youz guyz!!!
ec_dually
+1y
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the trailer,
We're dreaming of shotguns
And cheap polyester.
My Ford truck was parked
on Its blocks in the yard,
In hopes that St. Nicholas
Would bring me some tars.
I in my pajamas and my deer huntin' cap
Had just keeled over for a good drunken nap.
When up on my tin roof there arose such a racket,
I opened the dog box so the hounds could go track it.
And then on the roof I discovered the cause,
Perched up on my chimney was ol' Santy Clause!
And then from my eyes there fell tear by tear,
As I saw those eight tasty lookin' reindeer.
"Shoot" I said, "I'd feel bad if I shot 'em"
Although eight big reindeer would last me past autumn.
Those horns would look great hangin' up on my wall,
But if I shot them, Santa'd have no transport at all.
So I yelled to the Big Guy, "Santa, it's me!
You forgot my bicycle back when I was three!
Santa, remember that time I was five?
I asked for the Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive!
What did you bring me this year. old man?
Some tires for my truck or parts for my van
? I asked for a rifle and two cans of Skoal,
But I'll bet what I got ain't what you was told!
So what's in the sack, Santa, if I may inquire?
Two cans of Spam! You dirty ol' liar!
Well, that's OK Santa, you just made my day,
Cause I'm eatin' reindeer from now until May!"
Thirty days later, my freezer's still full,
And Santa's ol' sleigh is for cattle to pull.
Then I heard St. Nick beller as he rode out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, I hope cattle can fly!"
Santa packed up his goodies and piled tall in his sleigh,
And to fatten his cattle, I sold him some hay.
Such a wonderful Christmas, friends, yes it is true,
But what is ol' Sany Clause bringin' for you?
And all through the trailer,
We're dreaming of shotguns
And cheap polyester.
My Ford truck was parked
on Its blocks in the yard,
In hopes that St. Nicholas
Would bring me some tars.
I in my pajamas and my deer huntin' cap
Had just keeled over for a good drunken nap.
When up on my tin roof there arose such a racket,
I opened the dog box so the hounds could go track it.
And then on the roof I discovered the cause,
Perched up on my chimney was ol' Santy Clause!
And then from my eyes there fell tear by tear,
As I saw those eight tasty lookin' reindeer.
"Shoot" I said, "I'd feel bad if I shot 'em"
Although eight big reindeer would last me past autumn.
Those horns would look great hangin' up on my wall,
But if I shot them, Santa'd have no transport at all.
So I yelled to the Big Guy, "Santa, it's me!
You forgot my bicycle back when I was three!
Santa, remember that time I was five?
I asked for the Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive!
What did you bring me this year. old man?
Some tires for my truck or parts for my van
? I asked for a rifle and two cans of Skoal,
But I'll bet what I got ain't what you was told!
So what's in the sack, Santa, if I may inquire?
Two cans of Spam! You dirty ol' liar!
Well, that's OK Santa, you just made my day,
Cause I'm eatin' reindeer from now until May!"
Thirty days later, my freezer's still full,
And Santa's ol' sleigh is for cattle to pull.
Then I heard St. Nick beller as he rode out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, I hope cattle can fly!"
Santa packed up his goodies and piled tall in his sleigh,
And to fatten his cattle, I sold him some hay.
Such a wonderful Christmas, friends, yes it is true,
But what is ol' Sany Clause bringin' for you?
ec_dually
+1y
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like?"
The Sheriff replied, "He's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly,
that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.
He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red.
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell,
it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,
and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,
when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.
So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head.
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.
And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like?"
The Sheriff replied, "He's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly,
that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.
He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red.
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell,
it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,
and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,
when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.
So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head.
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.
And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
raymondsage
+1y
i like that one...