Hey all

Im still alive and kicking...barely...but I am here...to some extent. Havent gotten a new truck yet...in fact thats further out now than expected but thats ok.....it will pick up again. Still jobless but hunting and have some POSSIBLES coming up, I hate the caddy, really ready for it to leave already...looking fomr something smaller already...car, truck.........whatever, havent decided yet. My GF kicked me out and at first we werent even speaking to each other but we are now and we are working on things....I need to get stable and get my own place again...guess her being out of work and my being out was just too much for her to handle. This sucks, I hate being away from her, my heart is hurting, my folks put me up for a few days but I cant stay here very long....they would let me stay till I had enough to move again....but I couldnt ask them to do that cause they could get charged really bad for having me stay (they live in a retirement home deal setup...its their house but can only have GUESTS for so many days.

i have a ton going on and know way to really deal with anything....just right now been throwing out resumes and hoping I can get some steady work going on and my GF and I can talk about our futures together....we still want the same things but we need to work on ourselves..personally, one on one and together. I am scared that I will lose her although she says thats not the case. Still hard to be away.

My heart is broken, I miss her more than anything, each night is tougher than the one before, each day seems to just drag along...least if I had a job I would have something to focus on doing all day.

Dont know what all I am going to do right now....just so much came at me so fast.

Keep your fingers crossed, pray....hell throw a rock across the water if you think it would help. Im exhausted yet cant sleep...I made a whole 2 hours of sleep last night....tried to sleep today and couldnt so I chose instead to paint my folks place all day, then I am SUPPOSED to go over to my girls place and take my (our) bed out of her (our) room and move her original bed back in. Dont know why but thats the case right now.

Will check in later....at least I get to see her some today...be the first time in days now.

Hey man, Theres alot of us going thru some tough times right now... Just keep your head up, everything always has a way of working itself out for the best. Just focus on doing what you need to get done
(job,new place, etc) and the rest will fall into place in Due time...

Thanks man....just having a really hard time focusing right now. Scared I am gonna lose the only good person to come walking into my life in a LONG time.....I so wanted everything to be perfect between us...the way it started. Now...I just dont know.

Hey Jimmie. Good to hear from you again. I was struck when you said you guys have agreed that you need to work on yourselves. That's an excellent idea. I think when you feel better about yourself, actually get to know who you are, you'll realise what you really want. Wether it be your girl or not. RIght now is an excellent time to focus on yourself, find yourself and to be who you really are. I wish you all the luck in the world my friend. As for the whole bed thing.... that's kinda messed up IMO, but i guess she has her reasons eh?

Hey Sarah....Yea...it was needed...to get us both fixed. I was over last night and we TALKED...I mean REALLY talked...about alot of things...we are still together and all that (so that really calmed me down a bunch)....and I even got a hug and a kiss and the "I love you" which you know helped. I am going back over today in fact, to take care of the bed (which my bed is huge and she wants hers back in there...I sorta understand that part) because she also says its got memories....and it depresses her that I am not there shring our really big bed together.....but she stuck to her guns last night....which I do appreciate from her....but we did spend some time a little bit closer and I felt our relationship grew quite a bit last night. I was there for a long time.....which I was quite happy over.

I still need to get a new phone and get a new service....I brought her everything for my old phone that accidentally got put in my bags...which wasnt much...I told her I had left everything for the phone there...soon as I got there...i found it all.

Will miss my phone but it will be nice having my own. Anyways...thats about it

oh and we are finding a way to keep my puppy..we talked last night about him some. My cat though....I guess he has to go Im a little sad over that cuz I have had my cat for years...he has always been my little buddy and there was alot of nights it was just him and I...he always comes to me and looks for attention and he USED to go to my girl...but he HATES...hell he LOATHES the puppy.....so she says she cant care for him and all the rest of them together. Gonna miss him. A friend I guess is taking the pup for awhile and gonna train him and we will deal with the rest later at some point.

I still miss being *home* every night....it feels weird not being there....but she says we are still together, just gotta work on some things.

I just want her happy....really thats all I want.....I want to be happy too.....just a rough moment in life for both of us. I just hope I can find some work, get stablized and get things back on track for both of us. I think she is preganant which would be great since we both wanted kids together...but I need for her to feel secure that I can support and care for my family.

got a lot to do....need something in the world to change....like get a job would be a good one.

i am selling off a bunch of stuff I dont need...the sub/amp stuff...bunch of sports stuff I cant ever see me doing any good....they were given to me in lieu of some money owed....so I hope they are at least worth SOMETHING. I dont know about sports stuff...never been my thing. all I know is i have a ton of basketball cards and a few autographed bats that were actually used in important games....so I hope they can fetch me something money wise right now.

Well for all the sports stuff take it to a local sports store and get them appraised. That includes all the cards too.

tried that today Roach......nobody really buying much of anything. I was online looking up bats and the cards prices...I was willing to go 0.375 a piece on the cards (figuring I got about 2000 now....there is ALOT in that box!) and I was willing to deal say maybe $75 on the single signature/cracked bat...and $125-150 for the team signed bat. (many TEAM signed bats I have seen are going for the $500-750 ranges....very few have gone for less than that area

But the market is dead...here at least it is.

Sigh....i really need some of this crap to sale.

Its not important to me at all anymore...the stereo stuff, which I have always been into....but just dont really care anymore....my GF, our family(hopefully growing...we talked about it last night alot)...getting a smaller fuel efficient car....saling the cad.....getting rid of this stuff! The only for sale item thats upsetting me is my IPOD...I REALLY love my ipod but I need cash and right now!