EASY wheel question

Ok Civic guys, I got a few questions for you. I'm getting my wife new wheels/tires for her Civic LX sedan for an early birthday gift.

I'm looking at some wheels on the net that say they are 4/100 and 4/114.3 bolt pattern, with 40mm offset.

Question #1, my civic is 4/100 right, so these will fit?

Question #2, will 40mm offset suit me right? I called a local tire shop and they said I need a 44mm offset. Will I really be able to tell that much difference in 4mm? I'm going to be running a 205/40/17 tire.

I know these should be easy question for you guys, I'm just not a big sport compact guy.

Thanks guys!