True story. Happened Monday night. I was emailing my sister when I thought maybe you bastards would get a kick outta it as well.
The other night I was getting cozy in bed after watching "The Two Towers". I bunker down and begin to drift into dreamland, when I start to notice a scent. More like a stench.
"What the hell is that?" I thought.
"Is it my breath...I hope not."
A few minutes pass by...
"Roy H. Quimbly! That's bad"
"Where the hell is this coming from?"
"What the fu..."
It was at that moment, that I realized my darling wife had inserted one of Riley's little "love cakes" into my pillowcase.
My memory came flooding back...
Earlier that day, I was cleaning out the garage when I found a diaper behind the trashcan. It had been there a few days and it smelled like a rotting corpse had rolled in some month old cat shit, and then proceeded to go swimming in a lake of moldy diarrhea. Nice.
So needless to say, I was pissed because it wasn't "in" the trashcan. So, in an act of rebellious retaliation, I opened the door to the house, and hucked the hellish beast into the living room. I took it upon myself to then lovingly remind Shannon, that diapers belong "in" the can, and to please try disposing of it again. End of story.
...or so I thought...
Apparently, she didn't appreciate my kind instruction and decided to teach me a little lesson of my own.
So there I was...11 'o clock at night, washing my pillow.