K
Moral of the story...
jcampbell1180
+1y
True story. Happened Monday night. I was emailing my sister when I thought maybe you bastards would get a kick outta it as well.
The other night I was getting cozy in bed after watching "The Two Towers". I bunker down and begin to drift into dreamland, when I start to notice a scent. More like a stench.
"What the hell is that?" I thought.
"Smells like...shat."
"Is it my breath...I hope not."
A few minutes pass by...
"Roy H. Quimbly! That's bad"
"Where the hell is this coming from?"
"What the fu..."
It was at that moment, that I realized my darling wife had inserted one of Riley's little "love cakes" into my pillowcase.
My memory came flooding back...
Earlier that day, I was cleaning out the garage when I found a diaper behind the trashcan. It had been there a few days and it smelled like a rotting corpse had rolled in some month old cat shit, and then proceeded to go swimming in a lake of moldy diarrhea. Nice.
So needless to say, I was pissed because it wasn't "in" the trashcan. So, in an act of rebellious retaliation, I opened the door to the house, and hucked the hellish beast into the living room. I took it upon myself to then lovingly remind Shannon, that diapers belong "in" the can, and to please try disposing of it again. End of story.
...or so I thought...
Apparently, she didn't appreciate my kind instruction and decided to teach me a little lesson of my own.
So there I was...11 'o clock at night, washing my pillow.
Owned.
The other night I was getting cozy in bed after watching "The Two Towers". I bunker down and begin to drift into dreamland, when I start to notice a scent. More like a stench.
"What the hell is that?" I thought.
"Smells like...shat."
"Is it my breath...I hope not."
A few minutes pass by...
"Roy H. Quimbly! That's bad"
"Where the hell is this coming from?"
"What the fu..."
It was at that moment, that I realized my darling wife had inserted one of Riley's little "love cakes" into my pillowcase.
My memory came flooding back...
Earlier that day, I was cleaning out the garage when I found a diaper behind the trashcan. It had been there a few days and it smelled like a rotting corpse had rolled in some month old cat shit, and then proceeded to go swimming in a lake of moldy diarrhea. Nice.
So needless to say, I was pissed because it wasn't "in" the trashcan. So, in an act of rebellious retaliation, I opened the door to the house, and hucked the hellish beast into the living room. I took it upon myself to then lovingly remind Shannon, that diapers belong "in" the can, and to please try disposing of it again. End of story.
...or so I thought...
Apparently, she didn't appreciate my kind instruction and decided to teach me a little lesson of my own.
So there I was...11 'o clock at night, washing my pillow.
Owned.
diabolic kustoms
+1y
that's some funny shit..pun unintended
huskerdually
+1y
Pretty safe to assume you didn't get any that night.
raymondsage
+1y
That is funny as hell....
rhmdually
+1y
lmao
pig rig
+1y
I'm laughing now and the only thing that comes to mind is carma is a mother F^@KER
pig rig
+1y
I forgot did you learn any thing SHIT HEAD
jcampbell1180
+1y
Yeah...never piss off a pregnant woman.
okcderek
+1y
I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and about shit my pants.
bdydrped
+1y
thats pure greatness man!!!!!