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General Discussion \  NEW RULES FOR 2007


General Discussion
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maz89 avatar
maz89   +1y
>New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There's a
>reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't
>particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the
>football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
> >
>New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless
>you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was
>found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did
>you expect it to contain? Trout?
> >
>New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
>teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these
>lucky bastards.
>New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards,
>you're a retard. When you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols.
>When you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
> >
>New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about
>your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
> >
>New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of
>this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry,
>but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour
>some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
> >
>New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned
>pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the
>bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will
>be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social
>Security crisis.
> >
>New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.
>If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low
>fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light
>ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," Oooh, you're a huge
> >
>New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
>selecting 'Debit,' entering my PIN, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount,
>deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid
>who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
> >
>New Rule: Girls, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
>doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it
>translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything
>spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not
>spiritual. You're just high.
> >
>New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly
>sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because
>watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting.
>What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's
>called "The Howard Stern Show."
> >
>New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms,
>I'll go nuts and eat two.
> >
>New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
>television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote
>so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the
>reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea
>wasn't good enough to be a movie.
> >
>New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
>weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
>Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't
>gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
liljlowrider avatar
liljlowrider   +1y
i like the teacher one for sure
pig rig avatar
pig rig   +1y
all very good, but

as far as classmate pop ups quit cruzing chick site,s and I don't mean porn

and as far as starbucks goes if you need to ad that much shit to your coffee so you can drink it why the hell do you drink it and why the hell would you want to pay that much
low95xlt avatar
low95xlt   +1y
amen brotha door amen to them all
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