Best things to say in an arguement (fight)

So the other day I'm in a pretty good fight with my woman and I looked at her and said "You know I'm the best you will ever do right?" LMAO I almost started laughing right then. It totally shut her up instantly.

Another time some guy was threatning me because his girlfriend didn't bother to tell me about him and some stuff when on. When the guy confronted me I said "Every time you kiss her your kissing my dick". He actually started to tear up, I felt kinda bad about that one.

Post em up, you guys are bound to have some good ones, I can feel a good post comin on.

why dont you just just shut up before I butt F**k you in the mouth for talking all that s**t.

not you, but I said that once.

Your sister/mom didn't seem to mind.

we were at the bar one night and these assholes were well being assholes and my boy started yelling at them "I SUCKED MY DADS DICK!!" lmfao!!! wtf!! who says shit like that lol... the funny thing is they got so mad they left lol

^^ OMG thats some funny shit

lol.... one time, a group of guys were talking shit to me, so instead of getting my ass kicked, i just yelled "bitch i have HIV and ill bite your ass!"... they kinda backed off after that lol.

THE ONLY REASON I MARRIED YOU WAS TO GET CLOSER TO YOUR SISTER!!!!

I had a guy threaen me after I nailed his Girl. I told him to hit me so I could knock him out with one punch. He wouldnt, and left. Another guy was spreading the word he was going to kick my ass. I tried to drag his ass out the window of an S-10 while it was rolling about 5mph. He couldnt get away fast enough. The whole time I was yelling Whip my ass MFer, DO IT. Ah, the good ol days when I was young.LOL

I usually dont start any shit, but when someone says something to me, like when im turned the other way I turn looking allc razy and say "what did you say?" in a mad voice, usually they wont say anything, and then I say "thats what I thought you said.. nothing"